CACTUS
A History
Many people have wondered where the word “cactus” entered my vocabulary and why I've become so “obsessed” about both the word and the plant. Well, the story is pretty lame actually, so it's seriously going to disappoint you. Sorry.
First of all, I don't even remember the first time we used cactus under our current definition for it. All I know is that it stuck. Unlike other “fads” we still say cactus, even after some three-odd years of saying it. I also remember the first use of the word. One of us said the following sentence, in some shape or form. I paraphrase as follows:
“The word cactus sure is cactus. In fact, saying cactus is cactus”
It all started very shortly after I met Chris. We were immediate friends and we immediately discovered a shared love of making fun of absolutely everyone not as smart as us. For the record, that includes everyone. Anyway, at some point we started talking about his Texas friends, one in particular named Eric. Eric had this thing where sometimes just to piss someone off on an instant messenger or phone, he would start saying the word “cactus” to everything they said. A conversation could go as follows:
Random: hey, what's up?
Eric: cactus
Random: what are you talking about?
Eric: cactus
Random: what?
Eric: cactus
Random: stop being stupid
Eric: cactus
Random: seriously stop it's starting to get on my nerves
Eric: cactus cactus cactus
Random: fine asshole. bye
Eric: CACTUS
User Random is no longer available.
Now, how the hell that specific occurrence eventually lead to my being know as “the Cactus” I have no idea. I'll just lead up to it with progressive events. You can make your own conclusions as to WHY?
At some point soon after we started using the word cactus to mean “cool” and “awesome.” After some research, I've discovered it was less than a month after we met. Of course, it was more than that. Thus far the only two people I've ever met that have truly understood the word “cactus” were Chris and myself. You see, everything that is cactus, is both cool and awesome. However, not everything that is cool or awesome is necessarily cactus. Understand? I thought not.
At some point Chris mentioned The Zodiac. The Zodiac was a serial killer from the 1960s and 1970s that the police, to this day, have never discovered. We both found him intriguing because his most infamous modus operandi was to kill someone, then send a letter, in cipher, to a newspaper and/or the police. Some were cracked, but many of his codes were never figured out, even now. We both have a love and codes and ciphers, so we found it very interesting.
At some point, I can't remember how much later, we each acquired a title. I became the Cactus while Chris became the Genius. We got these titles from combining our most used words and the manner in which the Zodiac named himself. If you go to my online journal or my website, you will find they are both titled “This is the Cactus speaking..” This comes from the Zodiac's ciphers and letters, which he almost always opened with the line:
This is the Zodiac speaking..
Moving forward, the word cactus has been featured in two songs by our band, Optical Delusion, recording under Cactus Records. We've even updated our titles. Instead of simply Ricky "The Cactus" I am now Sir Ricky F Cactus II, CCE (CCE standing for Cactus of the Cactus Empire). Chris is now known as Chris Cactus, GCE (Genius of the Cactus Empire). These are both obvious referances to the English knights, who become known with names such as Sir Chuck Bones, KBE (Knight Commander of the Order of the British Empire).
*Note: I know I contradict myself several times throughout this article.
I don't care.